The stage door outside of the Hudson Theater on a Friday night is a weird time and place to, for the first time in your life, evaluate your relationship with the idea of celebrity but would you believe me if I told you it happened to me?
Nicholas Jerry Jonas was my first love (no offense to my ex-boyfriend). From the moment I discovered the Jonas Brothers, it was game over. I studied lyrics, watched YouTube videos on repeat, and bought every J-14 magazine I could get my hands on, skipping to the middle section where, if I was lucky, I’d find a full-size poster of Nick J. and the band to add to the ever-growing collection on my bedroom walls. I competed with friends over fandom, comparing trivia facts that somebody’s closest friends wouldn’t even know about them. What’s the largest steak Nick Jonas has ever eaten? Most people wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) know these things about somebody they’d never met but somehow I did.
You could say I was burnin’ up in middle school and thankfully this cooled down into high school but the love I had for Nick Jonas and the Jonas Brothers never went away like it abruptly did for Justin Bieber (I tried to delete the fan twitter account I had for Biebs when I was 13 but forgot the password so it does still exist on the internet. Good luck finding it!)
So there I was this past Friday night outside of the Hudson Theater, five feet away from my first major celebrity crush, and completely dropping the ball. Along with dozens of others who just saw him perform in The Last Five Years on Broadway, I hoped he’d sign my Playbill and possibly get a photo but unlike everybody around me, I was — for the first time in my life — silent.
Everyone around me was screaming at him “Nick! Nick! Let me get a photo!” “When’s the Jonas Brothers book coming out?” “I love you!” Phones were in his face, flashes on, as he grabbed Playbill after Playbill, signing and doing the friendly white-man-you’re-passing-on-a-hike half smile, posing for a photo when anybody asked. There were SO many things I could’ve said to him: “Thank you for bringing me so much joy all these years!” “You did a great job tonight” or literally “Hi” but something held me back from saying anything. Maybe I was a bit star struck or maybe… something in his eyes looked… sad?
I mean, he had just performed a 90-minute, no intermission Broadway show in which he was one of two cast members just days after performing all day at JonasCon and while we’re counting, performing for the past *counts fingers* 20 years. All I’d want to do is go home and sleep.
Remember the section in the teen magazines “Stars! They’re just like us!” and it’d be a photo of Reese Witherspoon paying for parking? Or Jay Leno filling his car with gas? While I held my Playbill out for Nick to sign, watched him sign it and give it back while he tried not to look absolutely exhausted, that’s all I kept thinking. Stars, they’re just like us. I finally could speak but all I could say was “thank you.”
So no, I didn’t ask for a photo despite it being 1) a childhood/teenage dream, 2) so incredibly possible, and 3) completely appropriate for the situation. It’s a weird feeling to know you disappointed your childhood self. I know former Alexa is soooo mad at current Alexa but sorry girl, it wasn’t our moment!
I posted a video I took of Nick on my Instagram story with the caption “was this close to Nick Jonas and too shy to ask for a photo” and received responses from people who have known me during various stages of my life, some I haven’t talked to in 10 years. They included but were not limited to:
You chose the absolute worse time to behave!!!
But this is your literal dream!?
When have you ever been shy???
What happened to you?!
Wow you really kept your composure there
I guess this whole thing is half a public apology to my former self and everybody who knows me and half an explanation for my actions (or lackthereof). I was going through something by that stage door. I can’t say it won’t happen again – but hopefully not the next time I’m face to face with Nick Jonas.
Ok I did something similar last week!!!!! Met Lea Salonga at the stage door and word vomited at her everything but “can we take a picture????” Is this stage door fright